HEART-SIZED ASHES

 isn’t it obvious
that i’m in love with you
why elsey would i let you
hang around 

no matter how many tears
i cry at the end of the night
upstairs alone
after you’ve gone 

leaving again and again
never quite arriving
when you show up
back at my door
like drizzle in a thunderstorm 

and isn’t it obvious
that i felt a taste of home in your touch
and you’ve turned love
into a disease that i can’t get enough of

allowing hello
allowing goodbye
falling for it every time
like Charlie Brown
like the mythical fool who
blindly jumps off the cliff
again and again
but never gets anywhere

and you called yourself the antichrist
and i called you ridiculous
but i should have believed you 

now i call you anti-love
because every thought i have of you
is colored with rage
but every though i have of you
wants you closer and closer
again and again
and you call me back
but always
keeping a safe distance so my arms yearn
without satisfaction until one day they will just
break off

like smoldering ashes
first my arms
then my eyes
then my ears
then my toes
dwiddling down until finally
my heart
will drop
to the ground

 surrounding your feet
heart-sized ashes
of large quick fires
shudder in the daylight
a reminder
as they struggle to free themselves
of form
and forget you

 well, isn’t it obvious
that i’m in love with you
isn’t it obvious
isn’t it obvious
isn’t it obvious